


Smoke in the Sky

by NeverBackDown001



Series: Fire and Flame(Ellick) [2]
Category: NCIS
Genre: Anger, Anger Management, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, F/M, Hurt No Comfort, Pain, Post-Break Up, Starting Over, War, i like anger, lots of anger, middle easter
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-18
Updated: 2021-02-28
Packaged: 2021-03-14 14:27:23
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 7
Words: 10,643
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29543748
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/NeverBackDown001/pseuds/NeverBackDown001
Summary: When there's smoke, there's fireEllie leaves for six weeks in the Middle East, and leaves behind a world of pain, guilt and heartbreak. And Nick is stuck, left behind to see what he's lost, what he can't re-gain
Relationships: Ellie Bishop/Nick Torres
Series: Fire and Flame(Ellick) [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2170425
Comments: 8
Kudos: 33





	1. Leaving

Ellie walks out of the Directors office, a broad grin stretching across her face. It's the first time she's smiled in weeks. According to the Director, she leaves for a camp outside of Islambad in less than twenty four hours(She could have declined but agreed, knowing her way around the camp already). A new start, something to keep her busy and to help. 

She walks to her desk and starts gathering up a couple of things, not all of it, but some paperwork, a pair of boots that she keeps under her desk and an old Ipod that she's taken to several Middle Eastern countries. McGee and Gibbs who are here, but not Nick(Thank the lord) frown in concern. 

"You going somewhere Bishop?" Gibbs raises that fatherly eyebrow. Ellie chuckles softly, a warm, happy feeling seeping into her chest. 

"Yeah, Pakistan. The Director assigned me there for a maximum of six weeks while their agent there, recovers from a recent bombing." 

McGee and Gibbs still look concerned. 

"You seem way too happy to be going to Pakistan, Bish, is there something else?" McGee used that nickname, which she hated, but she knew that he cared about her. 

Ellie just laughs. Maybe it sounds like she's mentally unstable but at this point, she doesn't care. "Don't worry guys, it's just a couple of weeks, I'm sure you can manage without me. Besides, I was there a couple of years ago when I worked with the NSA, I know half the camp already. I'll be back soon." 

Gibbs shrugs, looking up at her as she gathers the last of her things. "Good luck, don't die." Is all he says before she is walking to the elevator, relieved that she didn't have to see Nick before she goes. 

"Bishop wait!" McGee shouts, running to catch up with her, his baby blue eyes darkened in concern for her. Why should he be concerned? She's safe at the camp, she is compeletly capable of taking care of herself and others, so why? Is is because she is like a sister to him or is it something else? 

"What McGee?" She sighs. He full well knows she has to go and pack a bag at home, and then leave before dark, and the sun is already beginning to set. 

"Are you okay?" 

"Yeah, of course." 

"There was an offer for you in Yemen two months ago and you declined? Why the sudden change?" Nick's eyebrows are sloped in concern, a brotherly look on his handsome, face. 

Ellie remembers the offer she had in Yemen, a post that was similar to one she had in Pakistan as an analyst. This was before her breakup, and the assignment was a six week long one too. But at that time she didn't want to jeaporodize her and Nick's strong, steady relationship. Now, she was free to do whatever. 

"You know why." She replies, somewhat irked he had to bring it up. 

"You don't have to go Ellie." 

Ellie shakes her head. "No, I have to. He's clearly over it. This...this will be good for me. Fresh start, clear my head." 

McGee looks like he wants to protest the idea, like he wants so say something along the line of 'stay, you're needed' or some bullshit excuse like that. But he shuts his mouth and tries to come to terms with the fact that she won't be back at her desk for a while. 

"I'll miss you, and send...send Nick my best regards." She gives a flicker of a hopeful smile before stepping onto the elevator, bringing her closer and closer to a fresh start that she craved. 

* * *

When Nick shows up to work the next day, he expects to see McGee, Ellie and Gibbs working at their desks. Not McGee looking wistfully at Bishop's empty desk, Gibbs is still him, writing down something on a report. 

"Where's Bishop?" He asks stiffly, glancing towards her empty desk, something seems off about it, her old boots aren't under her desk and her jar full of snacks is gone. Something is wrong. He can feel it in that gut of his. His gut is rarely wrong. 

"Pakistan." Gibbs responds in the same stiffness that Nick had asked in. 

Pakistan?" What did he mean by Pakistan?

"She's on assignment, she'll be back in six weeks." McGee asks the question on Nick's face before he can ever form the words. 

Six weeks? And in a worn torn country that was filled with people hunting people like Ellie? Why didn't she say something to him? He was her partner, he at least deserved to know she wouldn't be back in a couple of weeks. They had an uneven team now. 

He couldn't help but feel a little hurt as he sank into his desk chair. Sure they had broken up almost seven weeks ago, but who was counting? Sure he had tried to get over it, again and again, drowning himself in beer and whiskey. But that was besides the point. She should have told him that she was going on assignment. Just because they where broken up, didn't mean he didn't care about her. He still cared. 

Nick couldn't focus for the rest of the day, with the thought of her in immideate harms way, three thousand miles away distracting him from the simple task of paperwork and no case. 

_Sinking into a chair, gripping the key he had once given her, Nick tries not to sob. They are clearly over._

_He could run after her, try and get her back, because he knows he can. He loves her and she loves him. Their differences shouldn't be in the way of their love. But he doesn't. Instead he cracks open a beer, flicks some shows on and pretends like it never happened. He pretends that he and her and still in a functional, loving relationship and that his heart hasn't been crushed by his own foot._

_He could run after her._

_He could._

_He doesn't._

_And that right there, was his biggest mistake._

"You good Nick?" McGee asks as they round the corner to the elevators. Nick shrugs, shuffling his feet a little, feeling awkward without Ellie, Jimmy or even Kasie there. He knows Ellie confided in McGee not long after they broke up. Nick had never gotten a glare or snide look because McGee respected their space. But he felt as though it was internalized. 

"Yeah, I'm fine." 

That's a point blank lie. He's not fine. He's the opposite of fine. 

"Ellie never told me....me why the two of you split. If you need anything..." 

Nick is silent. He's silent until he reaches his apartment, feeling more lonely than ever. Sure he's bragged about having a woman in his bed every other night, but it's not true. He hasn't kissed a girl since Ellie. Touched someone like he touched her. It was simply to see if she was still in love with him. Whenever he talked about it, she ignored him. Then she had said something about going on a date with Boyd. The one guy that Nick hated more than Jake, even if Nick had never met the guy. 

His fault. All his fault. 


	2. Bright Lights and Homesickness

A week is a long time. Seven days, 168 hours, 10080 minutes and 604800 seconds. But to Ellie, it felt like an hour had gone by. One moment she had gotten on the plane to Islambad, where she would then take a military vehicle to Camp Denver, which sat in a sandy, seemingly dead valley. The base was just like she remembered it, clean barracks, not so clean mouthed soldiers and a inherent ability to get into fights over the littlest things. 

"Welcome to Camp Denver, happy to have you, Agent Bishop." Captain Matthew Kane shook her hand, he was a stocky man, well-built with dark skin and almost black eyes, that where mysterious. 

"Thank you Captain. But this isn't my first rodeo here." She smiled nervously as some passing Privates eyed her almost suspiciously. Captain Kane raised a hefty brow and swept his eyes around the camp. When the question arises on his face she answers with a little nod. 

"Almost ten years ago, I was a analyst for the NSA. Is Leila Otrez here, she ought to have been promoted by now." 

Captain Kane's eyes darken a little and a sad look passes over his face. Ellie can feel her heart sinking in her chest. Lance Corporal Leila Ortez had made fast friends with Ellie, her witty charm and great impressions of Daffy Duck and Mickey Mouse. Whatever happened to Leila, mustn't be good. 

"She uh passed a few years back. Caught Ebola on a trip to South Sudan, but I knew Ortez, brave woman." Kane smiles almost apolgetically as he steers her in the directions of her quarters. Ellie feels bad for taking the place of James Gone, the guy who was well...gone. He wasn't dead, but injured in an IED a week ago on the way back from a re-con mission. Maybe that was why she was getting stares from certain people in the camp. She was the new agent, they didn't trust her. She understood that clearly. 

"Your orders from Director Vance are simple. Collect information, act as a information relay to NCIS. Keep an eye out for our men and such. Since you've been here before, the rules are the same. Don't leave camp without a valid reason and never ever let the young ones get to the ice chest. It's where we keep our best vodka." Kane winked as he opened the door to her quarters, which where simple. A soft mattress(better than the one she had eight years ago) a chest for her stuff and a clothes rack. 

"Thanks Captain." She gave Kane a wane smile, happy to be here and start anew. 

"No, thank you Agent Bishop. James is a good man, and we are glad we aren't inviting a complete stranger into these walls. Oh and the WiFi password is 'Hell Dogs 15'," The Captain gave her a friendly wink before heading off in the other direction. Bishop chuckled and began to unpack her things, locked and ready to report for duty. Ellie stuffed everything away in the little chest at her bed and pinned the few photos she had on the wall above. It would help remind her that she had people to go back to. 

\--

Like she said, a week is a long time. But to her, it wasn't. She made friends almost as soon as her boots hit the ground running. Her job was somewhat boring. Only logging in some hours, making good chats with the officers and participating in some training(learning to shoot with a military issued machine gun was tricky at first, but she got the hang of it quickly, the training officer had been impressed). 

Sean Jacobs, a quirky, tall and handsome Private First Class from New Orleans, with a somewhat sexy accent and funny in a way that reminded Ellie of Nick. He had a wife and kids back home, even if he was barely into his twenties. Ellie had taken a liking to him, his humor that made her chest hurt from laughter and loyalty to the flag(which Ellie liked, almost found kind of hot really, but she had to remind herself that he was married with two little boys at home)

Traci Winnings, a lean Hispanic girl from Austin Texas, funny as hell and probably liked Ellie more than Ellie liked Ellie. Traci was a triplet(who where all Marines, always trying to upsurp each other with awards and promotions, which would drive Ellie crazy but found it endearing). They had hit it off on the second day when Ellie had picked up a glove and ball, tossing it around with a couple of guys and she joined in, with that driving humor and wit. 

"Where you from Blondie?" Traci asked, full well knowing her name but ignoring it. Bishop did look out of place in camp. 

"Hinton Oklahoma, small town." She grinned, reminiscing in the memories she had with her brothers. 

"Nice, small town girl. Probably knew everyone and what there all doin'." Traci said, then commented on the crazy, musical vibe that Austin gave off. 

"Yeah, yeah I do. I reckon I'm the best though." Ellie replied, with a friendly wink. 

"Grew up in New Orleans." Sean burped from his soda, they where playing cards at lunch, a common pass time. Everyone liked to play Goldfish or gamble with fake poker chips and all the money they could get their hands on(which wasn't much honestly). "Right on the Bayou, me and my pops would go fishin' every single chance we got. Hell he was more fish and gator than human." Sean chuckled. It reminded Ellie of when she went fishing with her dad at the lake or river and she would catch something big to rub it in her brother's faces. 

"Okay Fishy Boy," Traci rolled her eyes like she didn't believe all of the story.

"What?!" Sean spread his hands in protest, almost knocking over Ellie's soda. "It's true. Me and pops would go fishing. And when I get out of here, me and my boys will do the same." 

"They old enough, Sean?"

The Private First Class shook his head. "Nah, Grant is three and Silas is still a wee baby. Grant does like to throw his football around. My girl, Shauna, she loves em more than anything." Sean swiped through his phone, showing a picture of his three year old, his six month old and his Japanese American wife, who had the prettiest smile on her face. 

"You got kids there Blondie?" Traci asked, sipping on what looked like her fourth coffee. 

Ellie shook her head. "Nope. I want some, but haven't had much luck recently." 

She didn't want to talk about her breakup, or her failed marriage well, failed everything. So she skirted around the topic and always brought up new ones when she got the chance. 

Ellie came here to forget about Nick. Not to bring him up 

So that's what she did. For the first week she did her best to forget about him and his stupidly handsome face. Until she got homesick after seven days. 

She missed her friends back home. Kasie and McGee most of all. But she missed Gibbs and his head-slaps, his stony features. Missed Jimmy and his positive attitude, with his fun remarks about everything and everyone. Flipping through photos(ones she had promised to delete) of her and Nick, late at night, she wiped a tear that rolled down here cheek. Right now she should be curled up in his arms, not alone on a bunk in the middle of Pakistan, three thousand miles from him. 

Ellie should be happy. 

Not breaking down in the middle of the night with no-one to hold. 

She hates Nick for this. Hates him for being hot-headed and stubborn, stupid and incredibly foolish. 

Loving him had been easy. Easy as taking in gulps of fresh air or watering plants she didn't even really like that much. Being away from him, feeling the warmth of his skin recede from hers and the smell on the pillow he slept on face away was the hardest thing she had done. Letting him slip from that firm grasp she thought she had on him. 

\--

It's been a week and there has been no word from Bishop. When McGee asks, three days after she's left for Camp Denver, Vance just gives a thin smiles and says something along the lines of. 

"She's fine Agent McGee, she's a strong woman, she can handle herself." Or some shit thing like that. Nick just hoped he could believe that. 

He missed her. Missed her more than when they had broken up. That heart-warming smile she wore, or when she nerded out with McGee. He missed her and it was his fault she was gone. If he hadn't been a stupid, foolish idiot and let her go. Let her go to a worn torn country. 

Laying awake at night, looking at a photo of the two of them on his phone, he wipes a tear from his eyes before it falls down his cheek because he can't cry, he can't cry when he is the one who fucked up. It's all of his fault and he made this desiscion. He made it and he can't take it back because he's lost her. 

He's lost her and probably won't get her back. 

That's something he'll just have to live with. 


	3. Dark Lights

Two weeks, fourteen days, 336 hours, 20160 minutes and 129600 seconds. The second week felt longer than the first, dragging along like a fifty pound weight, heaving on her back and shoulders, dragging her down. Why it felt longer, Ellie knew. She missed being in DC, she missed her team(maybe not a certain part of her team, but if she did, she wouldn't say) and she missed being able to call her family regulary. 

Vance called her second week, checking in, making sure everything ran in smooth circles, and it was. The week she had been here, ran very smooth. Like freshly made vanilla ice cream. His handsome face does lift her spirits. 

"How is everything over there Agent Bishop?" The Director asked, his hands clasped tightly together, the familiar background warms Ellie, the view of MTAC, with it's uncomfortable seats that look comfortable but they really aren't, they're stuffy and itchy. It made Ellie think back on the times she was sprawled out on the floors, papers strewn about 

"Good sir, other than twenty four hours of scorching heat, everything is just fine." Ellie grinned, she can see the outlines of the tech's on the computers. A hopeful part of her wished to see Gibbs or even McGee, but it was simply the Director, no-one else. She was alone in her quarters, it was close to midnight here, but roughly around noon back home. 

Vance chuckles light-heartedly. "Good to hear, but that's not why i'm calling." 

Ellie frowns, the gears in her head are already turning, analyzing every possibility of why Vance is calling. That she is needed back in the States, that her assignment is permanent, that someone on her team is hurt, everything she can ever think of, turning and wirring loudly in the caverns of her brain. 

Was...was everything gone wrong because she left? 

"Don't leave me in suspense, sir." She said after a silent moment that is used with her thinking of everything. Vance chuckled again, his face then pinching into his guarded, professional look. She's seen him outside of that look, and Ellie is proud to admit, the Director is very, very amusing to hang out with. 

"The previous agent, James Gone, was not on a re-con mission, but apart of a extraction team to a local town, just fifty miles from Camp Denver. At that merchant town, there is a not very well known terrorist, named Asif Abbas, who has managed to go under the radar for almost a decade. Your assignment is really the same as James Gone. Extract Asif Abbas."

Ellie blinked at all the new information. Why her though? Why out of all the agents(almost two thousand world wide) did he pick her? There where much better agents than her, like former Navy SEALS and even one who was once apart of the Army Rangers. Why her? Out of everyone? 

"Sir, with all due respect, I believe there are better agents out there, more fit for this task." 

Vance chuckled. "No, Agent Bishop, there are not. Very few agents have had experience in the Middle East and been experts on terrorists. You did well with Parsa, actually you're the only reason we caught him. You will return to DC in a week for a better briefing, but for now, I want all intel, chatter, everything." 

Bishop again frowned. "Are other agencies copperating?" 

Vance nodded. "You'll be given full access to the NSA database and will be working with a few agents who will be here after your briefing." 

Ellie let this soak in fully. A part of her had been suspicious as to the full extent of this assignment. And when she did think about why the Director chose her, she understood why. She could speak Arabic near fluent(the most difficult language beside Turkish to learn for her) and had experience with Parsa. She had even been here, Camp Denver almost a decade ago. 

"Sir, I will fulfill this to the best of my ability." 

Vance smiled, a crack through his facade. "Good, this is code word classified. Only me, you, Captain Kane and the extraction team know the full details. It sounds like a lot, but the circle is as small as I could get it. You cannot tell your team, only that you are filling in James Gone post." 

Ellie nodded. "I understand sir." 

"I understand that there have been little problems on your side. Is this true?" Vance seemed to be now checking in, not simply telling her the faint details of an extraction mission to capture a terrorist. 

Ellie beamed(more of a smile and guffaw). "Very well, sir. Nothing but a sandstorm and some drunk Marines." 

Vance is visibly amused, his lips twisted into that soft, fatherly sort of grin, his hands clasped behind his back and his faint trim fresh than she had seen it in a while, like it was something recently done. "Well I can't tell if that's a good or bad thing, a chopper will be sent for you in seventy two hours for a briefing here in DC, hope the jet-lag isn't too bad." Vance then cut the video feed as she waved back. 

Seventy two hours until she was back in the States. Back at the Navy Yard and back home where she was hoping to get out of(even if it meant flying three thousand miles away on the other side of the freaking planet with people she barely knew and scarcely trusted), but she had to leave. And now she was going back? Even if for a simple briefing that could take twenty minutes or so? 

Something other than the briefing was going to go down and Bishop wasn't wanting to wait in suspense for it. She hated those kind of idiotic revelations. 

With a troubled mind and heart, she fell asleep to the dulcet(somewhat soothing really, she had gotten used to it) sound of the wind ripping through the night air. 

The next few days, Ellie couldn't focus right, her mind always drifting to going back to DC, if she would have to see her team(it would be easier to avoid them than see them and have to say goodbye all over again and the chances of Nick not being there this time would be low). 

"You good Bishy?" Traci asked, the nickname that had quickly stuck jarring her from her unfocused train track of thoughts. 

"Yeah, fine." Ellie stirred her tea before gulping it down, hoping to avoid the conversation of leaving then returning. 

"You're not fine Bishy, wanna talk?" Traci peered up over the couple of days old Washington Post magazine, why Traci bought them, still astonished Ellie but everyone had their quirks. 

Ellie shrugged. "What's there to talk about?" 

"Well for one, you've been quiet and reserved since yesterday morning. And there's been talk of you leaving for the States?" 

Ellie set down the hot mug of steaming tea, the vapor curling into the hot October air. The sun beat down on them, the table under a tarp, protecting them from the harsh Pakistani rays of light. Why must it always be hot, she didn't know. 

"Yeah, a briefing back in DC. Nothing much about it." 

Traci let out a bark on fun, amused, sarcastic laughter that nearly brought a ghost of smile to Ellie's lips. 

"You say that like there is nothing in DC that makes you want to run. Something made you come here, maybe your Director, but you could have stayed, so there must be something or someone there you can't stand." 

Ellie hated Traci's people skills. 

"An ex. We uh, work together." 

Traci nodded. "Ah. What he do?" 

Ellie smiled thinly, clenching her teeth at the thought of Nick. Wasn't the point of coming here to get Nick off her mind. Well to the Director the point was that she was apart of an extraction team. Not to get her mind of him but Vance didn't know that and it was better than he didn't. 

"A lot of things. Worse than my divorce." 

"He cheat?" 

"No. He would never. He didn't....didn't trust me," 

"Ahh, well, any guy is an idiot to lose you. So damn him and move on El." 

Ellie looked to Traci, her big brown eyes and smirked expression. "Thanks Trace, but you should get to training." 

Traci held up the steaming cup of coffee cheerily before walking to training. Ellie didn't want to talk any more about Nick. Didn't want to talk about their breakup, which had hurt like a bitch. Still hurt like a bitch. 

She wasn't ready to go back home, even if for a simple day. The jet-lag would suck. 

But she would have to. 

_Why couldn't he just call her? She had called ten times in the past four hours and he hadn't responded. She was sorry for throwing the key at him, sorry for being a bitch, even if he had started the hellish argument._

_Why was he like this? Why did he have to cut off all of his emotions when it came to her?_

_Laying alone in her bed that night, tears pricked at the back of her eyes, she felt the oncoming storm of nightmares and lonilness. Ellie had grown accustomed to holding him and him holding her back, wrapped in a tight embrace where the shadows of her nightmares couldn't quite touch her, not with him protecting her._

_So as she held herself together, one thought came to mind._

_Damn him. Damn him and his stupid fucking emotionless heart and hot, undying temper he carried with him so stubbornly._

_Seeing him the next day he didn't say anything to her. Not unless he needed to. And it continued like that for almost a week. No words passed between them. She thought they had gotten past this phase. And when she did try to talk, he wouldn't respond. Why he was shutting her out, she had no idea. Ellie wanted to talk. To say she was sorry for what she had done, even if he caused her anger to spike like that. But he wouldn't talk. He would only give a curt nod and say 'Cool' and walk off._

_"We're done." Ellie whispered at one point, the words had been thrown from her mouth carelessly as they found each other in the empty parking lot of the Navy Yard._

_"Ellie-"_

_"No, we're done."_

_Bishop had driven off in her car before she could cry, before she could break down and he would come up with a half assed excuse or apology for shutting her out. For not talking after their argument and when she threw his key back at him._

_They where done and she had made it final because God knew he wouldn't talk about so she had too._

Ellie didn't want to go back. How was she supposed to? 


	4. Outline of Home

Nick didn't know what to think as she walked past the bullpen, her skin darker than when she left, hair bleached from the sun and ignoring Gibbs, McGee and his own stare. What was she doing back? It hadn't even been three weeks? 

"What's she doing back?" McGee worded the question before Nick could, their eyes all focused on Ellie as she walked up to the Director's office, not even throwing a glance in their direction, simply ignoring the three of them as if they didn't exist. A thousand questions bubbled in the back of his throat. Nick wasn't expecting her until closer to Thanksgiving, not here now. 

Was something wrong? Did her assignment at Camp Denver end early? 

"Don't know. Get back to work." Gibbs said sharply bringing them back to focus, but it wasn't working right off the bat. More questions, and hopeful, wishful thinking answers frothed in the back of his mind, throat, everything. McGee and Gibbs went back to work without a problem, but Nick couldn't, for three weeks he hunkered down, fretting, hoping that she was safe three thousand miles from him. 

But here she was. Seemingly better than when she left. 

No, there was no hope in focusing today. 

* * *

"Good to see you back, Agent Bishop." The Director smiled wanly, as they sat at the table in his bright orange office, sunlight streaming through the crystal window, bouncing off the walls and into her eyes. But the sun here wasn't nearly as harsh and bright as the one at Camp Denver, even if they where the same suns. 

"Good to be back." (that was a lie, very balant and terrible, forcing a smile, stretching it, not nearly meeting her eyes, but it was a lie) 

"Our guests should be arriving soon, but before they do, I want you to promise me something Agent Bishop." The Director's stare was soul searching, goring into her eyes like his life depended on it, all traces of pleasantries and positivity sucked from his stare. 

"What would that be, sir?" Her right leg bounced, teeming with uncharted anxiety, overthinking of what the Director could say to her, what kind of promise she would have to make and depending on if she would ever have to break it. Ellie wasn't good with those kind of things, promises, faithful trust. Some people had stolen that trust when they broke off a piece of her terribly large and charming heart. 

"When we catch Asif Abbas, you will step away, no matter what happens to you, or to anyone else. You will step away from the situation." 

Ellie gulped softly, her brain slowing down and the heat in her gears cooling a little(it would have been cool if steam exuded from her ears but that didn't happen). So if they caught Asif Abbas(the terrorist she knew nothing about, other than that he was very unknown, but played roles in attacks all over the Middle East and West Europe.) she was to step away and forget, unlike what she did was Parsa. He was most defenitley telling her this because of Parsa. 

"Of-of, course sir." 

Vance raised an eyebrow, like he didn't quite believe it, but a loud knock at the door interupted them. Vance gave a curt, knowing nod before letting whomever in. 

Three people. All clad in dark suits and even darker looks painted on their faces. Ellie tensed, as the Director let them in with all welcoming smiles. Ellie stood and shook their hands, as the Director introduced them. 

"Agent Bishop these are our three experts on Asif Abbas, CIA operative Jonas Deckle," Ellie shook the hand of Jonas, who was a dark skinned man with big yellowish cat like eyes and a firm look. "NSA analyst Veronica Yellows." A woman with a boy cut and brown eyes, her look just as firm and serious as Jonas Deckles. "And FBI Special Agent Tate Warren." Ellie shook the hand of a man with bright red hair and freckles strewn across his wide face. 

"Gentlemen, and lady, this is Eleanor Bishop, former NSA analyst and now special agent." 

Veronica Yellows raised a heavy brow. "I've heard of you, good to meet you." 

Ellie chuckled. "All good things I hope." 

Veronica shrugged and Ellie already knew Veronica would be a good person to hang out with, someone who looked just as nerdy as Ellie once had. 

They all sat around the table, Ellie could feel the questions, answers and unknown rising into the air. Jonas Deckle brought out at the very least fifty folders, thick and stacked high, Ellie knew this would be a long day. 

* * *

Nick hadn't seen Ellie leave yet. He had stayed late because McGee left early to go be with the twins and Nick kindly took it upon himself to do a little bit of McGee's share, knowing the guy was spent at home with his two little ones. Gibb's left at nine sharp, without a word to him. No-one talked about Ellie for that day. It was quiet, simply getting blood samples for DCPD done, and following up on some cold cases left unsolved. 

He glanced up at the digital computer clock on his desk, almost ten. No Ellie yet. Sweeps and bounds of heavy exhaustion washed over him, he knew he had to get home before he would pass out at his desk-again- and Gibbs would head slap him awake or McGee would throw ice water onto him, making him angry for the rest of the day. Nick really did hate that. 

So he stood, gathering his bag, stuffing some folders and snack inside, throwing it around his shoulder and heading for the elevators. He cast a quick glance upwards to the Director's office and the door of MTAC, the dim lights and few people seemed to make Nick even more drowsy. He guessed that he wouldn't see Ellie today, nor tomorrow or the day after that and that. Nick would simply have to live with the nagging weight buried in the folds of his chest and heart. So be it. 

As he hit the button down to the lobby, a voice rang out, a little panicked, "Hold it please!" 

Nick stuck his foot before the sheets of thick metal could close, hoping whoever would rush into the tiny elevator with him would at least say a thank you, because Nick was ready to pass out in the cramped space. Ellie appeared before him, looking a little flustered and worn out, hair sticking to her skin and green eyes wild with soaking in whatever she was doing in MTAC and the Director's office all day long. 

"Oh," A soft, almost too soft of a squeak came out of her mouth as she stepped next to him in the tiny little space. Suddenly a rush came to Nick's head, like he had been slapped upright the head or splashed with ice cold water. Every cell ending on the edges of his skin was alive, like he had been joslted sudden light and harshly. Of course he didn't have the luck to see her during the day but now as soon as everyone is gone, his luck has simply returned like the will or snap of a finger. 

Silence. Unpeatreble silence with thick, dry tension that could be cut or sliced with a blade of any kind. 

What was he to say?

How are you? How has your two, almost three, weeks in Pakistan been? What where you talking about all day with Director Vance? Are you still angry? 

Nick knew the answer to the last question. He knew she was still angry, he could feel the rage bubbling and frothing under her shield that she held up so stubbornly. He knew she was still angry because her left eye twitched dangerously, her mouth hovering on words, if she should chose them or not. Nick know's this because he know's her like the back of his hand, tracing every memory he can of her, because she is right here. Even if they where still a team right after the breakup, her presence seemed much more profound now that she had left for a while and returned unannounced. 

But he didn't say anything. No idiotic pleasantries or small talk like 'oh how was the weather in a desert country' kind of small talk that the both of them hated. He didn't say a word, sewed his lips shut, even if they twisted with words he couldn't use. 

As they walked to the parking lot, a couple of feet of distance between them, Nick noticed their cars where parked right next to each other, the spots they had chosen long before they even started to be good friends. 

He really wanted to say something, though he couldn't put it into words. 

"You used to be so damn _talkitive_ , Torres," She puts emphasis on the Torres part. "What happened?" Her words where more of a demand in disguise. He was surprised she was saying anything at all.

"Life." He muttered as they walked in the empty parking lot. 

"Yeah, life, choices, same thing right?" A bite in her tone. Condescending and totally Ellie when she was pissed off the bat. This would end just well. Of course it would. 

"What is this about El?" Nick surprised himself when he replied sharply, an intake of breath hurting his lungs. 

A wild look surpassed the tired in those jungle of green eyes. "Are you kidding me right now Nick! If I remember correctly, you where the one who stopped talking to me." 

Nick just wanted to drive himself off a cliff right now because he was not prepared to have this conversation in the middle of a deserted parking lot, where she could murder him without another thought in her highway of a mind. 

"I know." 

"Why? Why did you stop talking? I tried, I tried and you shut me out." 

He shrugged. 

They where almost to their cars but she had stopped, waving her arms around, her voice growing louder by the moment. 

"Say something. Tell me why." 

"I didn't know how to apologize. I didn't know how to-" He struggled with the words, trying to carefully chose them, but it proved to be difficult. Tears prick at the back of his eyes, the pent up emotions getting to him. How did this girl make him feel like this? Maybe it was his fault. 

Ellie nodded, her eyes growing red with pink rimmed around the edges a little. He hated it when he made her cry. 

"You need to learn how to grow up and deal with your emotions Nick. This isn't highschool or college. You're a grown ass man." 

"It's not as easy as it looks, espically when you don't love me." The last part was supposed to be a mutter, a whisper even, because she was storming off to her old blue pickup and he didn't want her to hear that last part. 

She whipped around so fast, that she should have gotten whiplash, blonde hair flying. "Are you serious Nick? Are you so goddamn idiotic? I broke up with you because you didn't have faith in me, you didn't trust me, not because I stopped loving you!" She shrieked, her eyes gone wild and crazy. 

His heart stopped. 

It all stopped. 

She didn't. She didn't because she was driving off before he could comprehend any of it. 

It was all just....frozen. 


	5. Of Reasons and Faults

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A short chapter, more of a flash-back.

Sometimes Nick Torres wanted to throw himself off the side of a steep cliff or building because he was simply done. Done with being an idiot, done with his stupid fucking brain that he had aqquired and tired of making mistakes, over and over until there was no fixing or turning back to what there was before. 

Well, scratch that really. He was going to throw himself off the side of a perpetually bottomless cliff, because he just simply couldn't keep up with his heart, emotions and so many mistakes. 

But there are some things, that not even he can regret. 

_Sprawled out wrapped and tangled in a web of sheets, legs and arms, Nick opened his eyes groggily, sunlight streaming through a clear window with soft grey shades drawn over. Damn, he thought, I should get better shades, because they really didn't do much for keeping out the sun like they where supposed to. Where was he? This wasn't his room and why was he thinking about shades when he didn't have any in his own bedroom?_

_Where was he?_

_He could hear short breaths, a warmth pressed against him and exhales on his dark skin, a leg wrapped around his and a definite weight on the opposite side of the strangely comforting and somewhat familiar bed he lay in._

_Oh no, did he get drunk and sleep with some girl, because he was almost sure that phase had ended? He had stopped doing that forever ago. Stopped taking one too many shots and inviting whomever was dancing on stage back to his apartment or hers. He stopped because it was pointless, a waste of his and her time, a waste of heartache and a waste of anger and more drinking._

_His gaze sharpened and he turned to look at the girl snoozing peacefully next to him, a golden mess of tanned skin and bleached blonde hair, falling in soft curls down her rosy cheeks and thick lashed eyelids. Long legs peeking from out of the sheets, a sort of cute nose with freckles dancing across the bridge, pierced ears with hair curled around the back. A beauty, without a single doubt in mind._

_Ellie..._

_Did he..._

_He lifts his chin up slightly, and can see clothes splattered on the carpet, a pair of jeans on the edge of an armchair, a shirt hanging off the dresser knob. Memories of last night start to replay in his head. Soft kissed and gentle touches, with a needy passion and years of pent up tension released in a single moment, in a single kiss planted on her lips, turned to ravishing hands._

_He didn't force her right? He didn't make her uncomfortable or do something irreverisbly stupid? Well, there was a high chance he had, but maybe she had overlooked that? Knowing Ellie she had probably analyzed it all and then made a well calculated descision about it._

_And now a temperate smile stretches across his lips, touching the corner of his eyes. Nick doesn't know when the last time that happened. The last time he smiled with such genuine, raw emotion in it. When it came to the blonde beauty on his arm, all she managed to do was make him grin from ear to ear like a cheeky teen cartoon character. How she managed to do it, was way beyond his low level of comprehension._

_What did this mean for the two of then though? Sure he...had feelings for her, god they slept together, but what did it mean? How could he go back to before, like this moment had never happened? Could Nick go back to work, look across the small twenty foot space between their desks and pretend this had never gone down?_

_He's unknowingly shifting slightly in the canvas sheets, stirring her. Suddenly, a hard shot of fear paralyzes him, is she going to take a simply look at him and run in the other direction, sending flying curses and wishes for him to take the high road to a dusty sort of hell?_

_Green eyes, with bits of brown, blue and gray, all sorts of color, how had he not noticed how pretty they where? Like a kaleidoscope he could stare into forever and ever._

_"Hey," He whispers, like he's afraid that if he speaks loud he'll scare her off._

_"Hey," She snuggles close to his chest, her arm snaking across him to reach his hand, clasping it in her small one. A buzz, similar to the one he gets when he takes a swig, shoots down all the way to his toes, the simply gesture of her hand in his, makes his heart simply stop._

_Do they need words? Do they need words to describe last night, or what will happen? The short answer, the answer for now, not later, is no. No they do not need the words because with her wrapped around him, clinging to his chest, hand in his, they do not need any words spoken. The two of them can feel it in their chests and hearts._

Yeah some things are simply impossible to regret. 


	6. Desert Heat

"Damn Bish, didn't know you could climb." Traci claps Bishop on the back like a proud mom might do, a bright smile on her lips and skin flecked on skin. 

"My dad would take us to Colorado in the summer, there me and brothers would climb every rock we could. I swear, one day me and my oldest brother George, must have climbed more hills than my parents could keep up with." She grins as she scales down the rock wall, the rope swinging and ringing like a canary in the pulley.Traci shakes her head, that funny grin still plastered on her face. 

"Is your entire childhood spent in the outdoors, because mine was not." Traci snorts. Ellie thinks of this though. When hadn't she been outside with her brothers when she was younger? Sure she spent a lot of the time reading and on the cracked computer screen, but she was writing stories in the tree house, lounging in the shade of the cracked barn house reading a classic fairytale, wondering if she had a prince charming out there. 

"Pretty much. I had chores from sun up to sun-down, and when I was a sophmore in highschool, my brothers had all left for either college or work out east, so I did everything for two years." She shrugged, remembering the time she had to muck the cow and horse pens without any help. That day hadn't been her finest. 

"Damn. I was a city girl, had nothing to do with Texas and it's stickyness." Traci stuck out her tounge, like the memory of home wasn't the best she could muster at the moment. Ellie took off the safety gear and placed it in the Marine issued plastic bin, and wiped the sand from her face. She was not enjoying the sticky Pakistani heat or the frequent sandstorms that swept through camp, sometimes took a soldier down(knocked them out cold, which Ellie had experienced first hand), no, none of this weather was fun. but it was much better than being home as of right now.

For nearly two weeks, they had been on chatter with Asif Abbas, looking for any sign of his current location, who the man was working with, anything because the tiniest detail could help at this point and Ellie was searching for that little crack in the smooth pavement they called Asif Abbas. The man was a ghost, unlike most terrorists. All they knew was that he was a Pakistani who grew up confined in a tiny town in southern Russia, his parents had emigrated there, but other than that, there wasn't much. 

It was agonizing. She had taken down plenty of bad-guys with less information than this but...for some reason this Asif Abbas guy was less than a ghost, it was like his existence had never happened. That his atoms, nothing about him existed and Ellie couldn't just sit on that and let it slide because it was killing her. Two weeks and they knew next to nothing. According to the NSA and CIA, this guy had been around for years, claiming responsibility for plenty of attacks across eastern Europe and west Asia. 

"I have another briefing in an hour, why don't you get saddled up." Ellie patted Traci on the back. Traci nodded, beginning to strap on the leather safety gear, it was uncomfortable, that stuff was. 

It was partially true, what she had said to Traci, she did have a briefing, but not in an hour. Ellie had down time, which was hard earned and all Elllie wanted to do was go and sleep, take a well rested and well deserved nap in the somewhat uncomfortable standard issued military bunk, in her tight quarters, in which was stark in perzonization. She had taken down the photos of the team she had tacked up and left the walls and board(beside the a photo of her and her brothers) empty. With little reminders of home, she was less likely to get homesick, feel the anger twist in her chest and the knots of not knowing tightening. 

Laying down on the semi-uncomfortable bunk, thankful for the cool stream of air that flows through the air vents, Ellie closes her eyes, in the hopes of drawling into a peaceful nap, wanting to whisk the heavyness from her eyes but only to find herself immeresed in an old memory. Well, not that old. 

_Three years since the divorce. Three years since she signed those goddamn papers and threw the ring into the tiny lock-box, hoping to never slide it on her finger again. No, she vowed to never touch the ring again, because if she did, Ellie would only run back to what she knew before. Ellie nearly celebrated the date, never advertised it, but celebrated it._

_She bought herself flowers and got expensive coffee, wore comfortable clothes and took only orders from Gibbs and Vance, not her fellow co-workers, she ignored them because she lost herself in a land of bliss. What would today look like if she had stayed married to him? They wouldn't have kids because Jake had never wanted any, even if Ellie had. Maybe they would have split as well too._

_"What's up with you?" Nick asked, his face scrunched up in confusion. Behind Nick, Tim chuckled, Tim knew, because Tim always knew, but didn't say a word because if he did, Ellie would smack the daylights out of the guy._

_"None of your business." Ellie smirked, taking a long sip of the expensive coffee she had gotten down the street. The mix of lilies, tulips and roses smelled so amazing as they sat in the glass vase on her desk, she grinned to herself, leaning back in the chair, kicking her legs up on the desk. Three years. She was happier now than she had ever been with Jake. She had accepted being single a while ago._

_"C'mon El, tell me. You are wayy too happy."_

_"Don't ask Torres." Tim said in a low, almost unsure tone from behind Nick. Torres spun around and started whispering to Tim, but only ended up getting shooed away. Nothing could ruin this perfectly good day. The birds where chirping, the sun shining and the world spinning at the perfect angle, Ellie was happy and that was all that mattered?_

_She jinxed herself of course. Karma was a raging bitch, why would she not be slapped in the face by karma? Why not?_

_She and Nick had to go to the NSA. The one place she was hoping to avoid for the rest of her life. She knew with her jobs that she would have to at some point, and being an analyst meant she knew how the NSA worked, how they researched, their codes, everything. Sure they had probably changed those codes by now, but with a little bit of McGee magic, she knew she could crack those codes within minutes. Not that she was being cocky or anything.  
_

_"Why you so bummed out now? Fifteen minutes ago you where lost in your own wonderland there B." Nick nudged her shoulder as she turned the corner out of the parking lot rather sharply._

_"Fifteen minutes ago I wasn't driving to the NSA." Ellie grit her teeth and gripped the steering wheel so tightly that her knuckles turned a fleshy white color. Out of all the days they had to go to the NSA, today was the day?  
_

_But what where the chances of running into him? He was a lawyer for the NSA, not an agent or analyst._

_With Ellie's terrible luck she'd see him._

_"But why El? Can you say something?"_

_Why was Nick being so damn nosy? Could he just stick his nose in some other girls business?_

_"I just..." Ellie couldn't finish the sentence. No. If she did, she would jinx it. No. She clamped her mouth shut, turned up the crappy radio and drowned out Nick's complaints, stepping on the gas further outside the city. She could see Nick's exasperated face contort into a silent question mark wrapped around his features. He was curious but he didn't need to know as of right now._

_Almost their entire time there at the NSA, Ellie managed to avoid, or not see Jake at all, which helped her mood. She reconnected with a couple of friends, her emotions weren't so heavy and for a moment, just a sliver of a moment, she felt happy._

_But then that happiness was sucked down a drain of unstoppable emotion. A rage when she saw his carefree face, jumbled in a laugh, a golden band wrapped around his ring finger, not the silver bronze one she had worn, he had worn._

_"Who's that, Ellie?" Nick nudged her shoulder again as her gaze burned in Jake's direction._

_Words failed her as he glanced over at Ellie and Nick. All of the rage she felt intesified by a thousand fold? Did his now wife know that he was a pathological liar and cheater who had stopped caring at all. Did she know?_

_And why on Earth was Jake walking over here?_

_"Hey El, didn't know you where here." Jake said in a rather stiff voice, his dark eyes bouncing from her partner to her constantly._

_"Didn't know it concerned you." Ellie huffed, doing her best not to take a swing at his ugly face._

_"How-how are you?"_

_How was she? Well, she wasn't doing good because on the day she's supposed to be all happy and stuff, she was here at her old job, looking at her cheating ex, who had already gotten married again._

_"Fine. It's late, Jake, go home to your wife." Ellie almost spit the words because in her mouth they tasted like venom._

_Jake scratched the back of his head almost nervously. "Well, uh, see you later." The guy shuffled his feet and walked off. But it didn't help the anger seething in Ellie's chest._

_Nick, who was still standing next to Ellie, by their car, shoulders brushed up against each others turned to face her, confusion written across his stoic features._

_"Who was that Ellie? And don't shut me out."_

_Sighing, she leaned on the side of their car, letting out a heavy exhale. "That was Jake, my ex-husband, we divorced, three years ago." Ellie didn't look at Nick, but at the stars spread across the sky, dotting out between the smoke clogged air. She didn't want to look at Nick. Today was supposed to be a good day, not end out like this._

_"Oh. Didn't know."_

_What Ellie didn't know was that his fists where curled into tight balls, his face scrunched and teeth clenched._

_"He cheated, more than once." Ellie sniffed, wiping the tear away before it could come with the memories of pain that followed suit. "He took my house, all of my savings, I was...damn near close to living on the streets after the divorce."_

_"Ellie..."_

_"Don't, don't do the whole, I'm going kill that guy, kind of thing. It's not worth it." Ellie turned on her heel, towards the car door when Nick pulled her back by the crook of her arm and into a bone crushing hug._

_"I'm not going to kill him, I will kill him." Nick whispered into her ear, pressing a gentle kiss to her forehead as a couple of tears slipped down her cheek, feeling the warm embrace that made everything, if for a moment, sink away and into nothing._

But today Ellie is not in that warm embrace, but trying to hold her own. 


	7. Smoke Rising

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> when there is smoke, there is bound to be fire

_She did not think of herself to be some kind of prize. Something that could be won by the hand of an arrogant, evil man. Something that could be bound and whipped, ordered and enslaved. She was her own damn person. But to others, she was not._

Ten people, sitting around a dusty table, with shifty chairs, splinters sticking up and paint peeling off the sides, aged and worn to the very fine edge of the wood. Ellie missed the swivel chair back home, the one where she could lean back on, kick her feet up and ignore everyone else, or do her work. Gibbs would sometimes comment on her feet on the table, but it was better than when she sat on the floor and did her work then. She had improved since then. 

Captain Matthew Kane sat at the head of the round table filled with steaming cups of strong coffee(Ellie learned that the Marines here either had their coffee strong or they threw the stuff to the wind, it was quite deliberating to watch), stacks of papers and files and of course, several special OP Marines and Ellie. She did feel slightly out of place compared to the six foot four, two hundred twenty five pound Marine sitting next to her, but she sat with purpose. 

"We have a lead on Asif Abbas. As we all know, he has been camping out in a local town for the past month and a half with little to none chatter of their next target. Since Riga, he has been radio silent." Kane referred to the bombing in the city of Riga, where over fifty people where injured and twelve died. That had been almost three months ago, Ellie remembered seeing it on TV, the red fiery flames that touched the sky and the screams that echoed in the city, even if the TV was on silent. She could hear them from two thousand miles away. 

"Sir, Abbas hasn't made any contact with the US government." A Marine with the last name of Turstode, said in a heavy French accent, she had never seen him before, his eyes where the color of marble floors and his skin like fresh honey. 

Kane nodded. "We know. It is unusual for a terrorist, even one with such narssistict tendencies to not establish a form of contact. Abbas does not take prisoners either." 

Ellie frowned. She knew this, it had been stately quite clearly at the briefing back in D.C(She still didn't know why she couldn't have been contacted over the phone or something because the whole visit had been a bust in her perspective). Asif Abbas was a Russian citizen(his parents where from the Swat Valley of Pakistan) and grew up in a tiny town close to Kazakstan. 

But of all the terrorists, the people she had dealed with, Asif Abbas was a total new one. Maybe it was the Russian practices he had grown up with (there had been a study done that environment was a key factor in what a child grew up to be). If Abbas's life was filled with terror and unruly practices of death and lack of remorse, it could have gone several ways. Ellie wished that children could grow up in safe homes, but it was not always the case. 

"Where is this lead sir," The stoic Marine with the thick French accent asked and Kane shuffled the water crusted folders in hand and scanned the room with his bright, rather young eyes. 

"A possible witness to the moving of several trucks ladden with explosives. We'll send a re-con team, half of us. I want Commander Willis and his crew with our NCIS agent Bishop. Sixty miles from Camp Denver." 

Ellie wasted no time shoving the gear over her head and tromping out from the tent and into the hot Pakistani sun, which seemed to beat down on her shoulders and neck a little rougher than usual. A part of her missed a cool, gentle breeze without having sand being flown into her eyes, mouth and nose. She was convinced she would never not be shaking some of it from her boots. The desert wasn't very accomdating of her wishes and wants now a days. 

"You ready Bish?" Sean nudged her shoulder, bright cobalt blues shining down on her, his military cut was slowly starting to grow uncut and a beard forming on his face. Sean had quickly become something of a cousin or brother to her, even introduced her to his kids one time over a Zoom call, two little bundles of exact joy on the other side of the camera. 

"Ready as I can." She slipped the two combat knives in the heels of her boots, she had grown accustomed to them. 

"Heard the guy you replaced, Agent Gone, he'll be back in two weeks. Bet he hopes you've done his job." Sean winked at her, a merry look on his bright, carefree face. 

Ellie considered this. Had she done his job? And well? "Well he better hope that he has something to do." 

"True, true." 

The HUMV waited for them, dust spirlaring out from underneath the wheels as it cruised down the narrow dirt paths up the steep hills, climbing them, a distant tune playing on the shitty standard radio, and laughter bellowing from every solider, it could have destroyed Ellie's chest from all the heavy bounds of laughter. Terrible(most of the time sexist but she still laughed), dirty jokes that brightened her day like the sun shining through black clouds. 

Everything seemed to slow down then. Like the world had been spinning on a fast pace and then it stopped, throwing everyone off the face of the planet except Ellie, forced to stand and watch it unfold. Distant pops and pews of gunfire, scattered screams and yells, doors being thrown open and fire exploding in every direction. Ellie felt frozen. She couldn't move, as if she was being shoved in front of the chaos. 

Why. 

Why. 

The questions rang in the caravans of her mind, until they faded to a dull background noise. A rough shake of her shoulder, windows cracking beneath the gun fire. Her face hitting the dirt, blood spilling from her mouth, the world spinning faster and faster. 

Faster. 

Faster. 

Faster. 

It made her drowsy and weak, the shouts, the gunfire, the rocketing heat that surged behind her, a scream of terror and a substance flecking her skin. Ellie reached with a gloved hand to wipe it away, only to realize it was scarlet and staining, a body landing next to her. The man with the French accent, his marble colored eyes dying, curdling gasps and flailing limbs as the blood oozed from his chest. 

Faster. 

Faster. 

The world kept spinning and spinning, but Ellie remained still. 

She drew her gun and fired in the direction of the popping gunfire. But to no avail. Screams that kept echoing. A tiredness behind her eyes. Pain throbbing in her left shoulder, blood seeping through her fatigues. 

Faster.

Faster. 

How could she ever keep up with the pace? 

A stinging in her legs, weight crushing them. Pain flaring from her toes to her neck. Endless pain. 

Chaos. It reigned on around her. It would never end. Endless fire fights, endless killing, endless everything, until the world itself was soaked in the blood of it's children that lay broken and buried around her. 

It would never end until humanity ended. That was clear and simple. 

Faster. 

It stopped. Yells in a language she understood, but a dialect that was unknown to her. She could hear it. Her mind was fuzzy, near blank. Who was she? Where was she? 

"Take her with us." 

Pain. Mind-numbing pain that made everything she knew wipe off the facade of her brain. Sinking into that uncomfortable darkness that she craved, reaching out to it, dipping her fingers until it swallowed her whole and nothing could ever bring her back again, almost nothing. 


End file.
